To Sir Ho-bag, With Love

This week is Virgin Hero week at Romance novel TV and it spawned thoughts in our twisted minds of his opposite The Man-whore Hero. Call him what you will a rake, a playboy, or a womanizer; he breaks hearts, gets panties, and sets the ton (or the futuristic space colony) on fire with his scandalous ways and mad sensual seduction skillz. Whether he's tortured by past demons or just a wantonly unrepentant Duke of Slut, Is there a more prolific formula for Romance reader crack? We admit we enjoy a virginal hero or 2, but always look first to Him-ho’s for literary thrills, chills, squeals, and jollies. So why is he so Cum-pelling? *enter snickering here* What’s the appeal of the Man-whore hero? Especially when in real life we'd most likely find such a man a: skeezy, obnoxious, borderline emotionally abusive, date rapist; with the sort of cooties no amount of bleach and scouring will cleanse. Reader: Personally I think it's all about the lurving experience. They’ve been with every woman in Christendom yet you’ve got 'em whipped cause, like Sinead said, “nothing compares to you”. It feeds the vanity something wicked which is a large draw of a forever loves tale. Ultimately it’s an ego stroke thing; Yeah baby, Yeah! Most women can identify with romance novel heroines too, unless she's a Mary Sue, she usually isn't the prettiest girl in the room, she hasn’t got the nicest clothes, nor is she particularly skilled in the pianoforte [or insert any other useless hobby people give much importance to]. According to the measures of the day, she falls short of the accepted standards. Most women will identify with this position. At every party there will always be somebody better looking, better dressed, with a better job, and who plays tennis or sings or cooks or does something, anything, better than us so when a man, who can have any woman, choose her above all others, we, the readers can't help but it eat up. I do know that as much as I love a promiscuous alpha hero in fiction, if I were ever to meet one in real life, I would have the common sense not to faint in his presence and instead run for the boondocks for fear of the clap. Mistress: IMO the best aspect of the man whore is what a brilliant conflict point it is. What drives his hussy campaign gets me going every time. Is it just because he can? Was his heart broken? Is he running away from familial demands? Does he have some deep dark secret? Is he determined to give society the finger? Maybe he’s just a true lover of all women that pokemon –esque wants to catch, taste, tease, & bed em all? Or is it to prove something? * Squees* and if so to whom? Now that’s zexy character complexity. The sexual/social confidence...the sheer arrogance they express with every gaze, casual touch, or word curls my toes.Then the inevitable moment of touching vulnerably warms my cold black bitchy soul; What a ride ladies, what a ride. I'm an Alpha girl all the way in my reading life. I definitely think a large part of the Alpha appeal is derived from expectations of extreme sexual prowess, thats part of the parcel. That's right I said it, inside every alpha lurks a man whore. With the exception of the paranormal monsters who physically can't boink until they find their sexy smelling mate then we're supposed to swallow that they magically become " Supa Luvahs" without any prior experience. But then I'm also one of the few freaks who rolls her eyes and vomits a little, when one of these larger than life specimens is paired with a naive,easily swayed,doe eyed, meh personality; Priss. You know the ones who go from being biblical in propriety and virginity,then one chapter in are completely adapted to being passed around with his 3 brothers, his parents, and their dog. Or just as vile when otherwise intelligent, assertive, sexually adept heroines become uncharacteristically submissive in all aspects once they find lurve. I won't even get into the pervasive hardcore BDSM kink infiltrating the genre except to say, Fail. Pairing preferences aside the Man whores in literature are so full of win. Reader's Man whore novel recommendations:

They call him many names, but Angelic isn't one of them . . . Sebastian Ballister, the notorious Marquess of Dain, is big, bad, and dangerous to know. No respectable woman would have anything to do with the "Bane and Blight of the Ballisters"—and he wants nothing to do with respectable women. He's determined to continue doing what he does best—sin and sin again—and all that's going swimmingly, thank you . . . until the day a shop door opens and she walks in. She's too intelligent to fall for the worst man in the world . . . Jessica Trent is a determined young woman, and she's going to drag her imbecile brother off the road to ruin, no matter what it takes. If saving him—and with him, her family and future—means taking on the devil himself, she won't back down. The trouble is, the devil in question is so shockingly irresistible, and the person who needs the most saving is—herself!

She stood at peril's threshold -- then love beckoned her in… A prim, well-bred gentlewoman, Sara Fielding is a writer who puts pen to paper to create dreams. But now curiosity is luring her from the shelter of her country cottage into the dangerous world of Derek Craven -- handsome, tough, and tenacious -- and the most exciting man Sara has ever met. Derek rose from poverty to become the wealthy lord of London's most exclusive gambling house. And now duty demands that he allow Sara Fielding to enter his perilous realm of ever-shifting fortunes -- with her impeccable manners and her infuriating innocence. But there is a hidden strength and sensuality to the lady that captivates him beyond his better judgment. And in this world, where danger lurks behind every shadow, even a proper “mouse” can be transformed into a breathtaking enchantress -- and a cynical gambler can be shaken to his core by the power of passion and the promise of love.

Mistress' Man whore novel recommendations:

Aerin is a middle-aged woman who has finally admitted to herself that her life is completely devoid of everything that makes life worth living. She has a good job that pays great, but with no real friends. At forty-seven, she's never even had a lover and is now facing menopause. Finally desperate to at least experience one grand adventure in her life, she decides to make a call to a sex club. There she meets Violanti who sees in her all her potential and a beautiful soul. And, it becomes his purpose to help her see it too.

A storm's rage. A woman's desire. A man with the power to set them both free. He can summon lightning at will. Emerge unscathed from the center of a tornado. Strip a woman down to her barest defenses through the sheer force of his sexuality. He's gorgeous, dangerous, and the target of parameteorologist Haley Holmes's latest mission. Haley has been dispatched to the Louisiana bayous to investigate the phenomenon known as Remy Begnaud-a man with a gift he never wanted: the ability to control a storm's fury. But even a woman trained in bizarre weather phenomena has no defense against the electrifying power of the ex--Navy SEAL...a power his enemies would kill to control. With her agency monitoring their every move, Haley's job is to seduce Remy, gain his trust-and help him harness his extraordinary gift. But who will protect her from this voracious lover who's introducing her to a new world of erotic thrills--a man who grows increasingly insatiable with each new weather event? Haley knows a big storm is approaching--and with it will come unexpected delights. But so, too, will the storm unleash her greatest fears: an enemy bent on destroying Remy. And her worst fear of all--falling in love with this magnificent man, then having to betray him.