Bring on the Drama

I am sick and tired of my fav characters on screen and page making meh relationship choices and engaging in disturbing pity/save the world sex. I’ve started many a convo about this with Reader my bookslut besty and resident ScarletCorset shipper, but it must be restated. Kick Ass Heroines of the world ….you must…STOP falling for; chumps, princes of bupkis, and lords of wack. Examples: - Anita Blake bumping uglies with Nathanial. Yeah yeah I know she bumps with EVERYBODY but c’mon. I don’t care if he has long pretty hair. he’s a borderline personality flunky. -Merry Gentry with the wrench in the conservatory. I jest I jest , actually it was Merry gentry with a bj in the bathroom. I’m sorry the goblin who’s 4 feet tall and looks like a child is feeling left out. But DUDE could you give him a hug next time or a cookie instead of… what you did. *shivers* - The book I finished earlier this week that provoked this rant, but I’m yet to review due to a combo of intense frustration and not wanting to spoil it for everyone. So I’ll keep my trap shut and wait for their hope to be crushed in the natural time line of things. Or who knows maybe they'll think it’s awesome and I'll be Breaking Dawn like wtf all over again. See the heart of the matter is that I’m a dynamic story first type of fan. I love Pushing Daisies but if Chuck and Ned found love elsewhere I wouldn’t shed a tear. In fact if the anti HEA event occurs and interests me I’ll cackle while I steeple my fingers like Mr. Burns.I’ve just had it with safe..boring..story killing plot choices. Doesn’t any one else wonder what if Georgia ran away with Rome in “Succubus Blues” and restarted life as bad ass Angel hybrid banging villainess? *shut you mouth* but I’m just talking bout Georgia *and we can dig it. What can I say, I lack the restraint to pass up a Super Fly joke opportunity and am a fierce advocate for angel boinking on principal. ; ) If given the choice, I’d sacrifice sweet forever love to my pagan gods for a compelling epic any day of the week. So why the heck do I read romance? Because the authors who rawk my sock don’t celebrate the birth of love with the death of complexity. When both are present the magic happens; think Jane Austen,Faith Hunter, Illoana Andrews, Jeri Ready Scott. Kristen ( and PC) Cast, Kat Richardson, Colleen Gleason, Keri Arthur and Richelle Mead. So I’m naming my self Queen of the universe for the next ..er 10 minutes and am decreeing new rules: Rule 1. if you have to choose between a smoking hawt Beast king who challenges you in interesting, infuriating, and uber exciting ways and your BFF since kindergarten whose a substitute gym teacher and looks like Seth Green. YOU MUST pick the beast King. You are allowed to get all “ what should I do? How can I break his heart? Do I want him for the wrong reasons? But, rescinding his Beastness and choosing the buzz kill dweeb is I STRESS not acceptable under any circumstances. Rule 2 You no longer get to justify having sex with childlike beings, I don’t care how old they are or if they don’t cum that they’ll die, just don’t do it. Also no gagtastic hookups with loser supporting characters having a sad on, even when you need sexy time to transform like sailor moon to save us all. As it is written so shall it be done and all that jazz. P.S. I’m not serious…mostly. P.P.S Also tv wise: Dexter should dump Rita stat. I want more dark passenger less suburban blah and making friends. I signed on for a Serial Killer Anti Hero not Daddy Day Care = / .