Beyond the Highland Mist by Karen Marie Moning

LOVE a good highlander romance and thought I'd be in for a treat with this one. It not only has the romance but also some paranormal aspects with the royal court of the fae adding their magic to the mix. There is also some time travel which I thought could make it even more interesting. Little did I know! First off, the heroine Adrienne is a twit. Her background story is too ridiculous to believe yet I'll share it with you because I'm that kind of a person :) She's a 20th century gal who is apparently on the run for the murder of her ex-fiance who is supremely stupidly named Eberhard. Mr ex-fiance was a "beautiful" and rich man who sent Adrienne on all kinds of fancy vacations………alone. Ding, ding, ding – clue #1 that something isn't right yet she continues to go because her man is so wonderful and thoughtful to give her such extravagant gifts. Well it turns out he was using the twit to smuggle something……I honestly don't care enough to even try to remember what it was. But she finds out when she comes home early and overhears him laughing at how stupid she was. (Psst….he wasn't the only one laughing). So from then on she proclaims her HATE of beautiful men and how she'll never fall victim to one ever again. Yeah, um….ok lady you do that.. Now for the hero – he is known as the Hawk and is renowned because he's apparently hung like a horse and has the stamina to match (who actually came up with that analogy and knows the stamina of a horse?). Ok back to business.....all the women want him and one goes all psycho after he's married and tries many times to kill twit. Anyway, so widely known is his prowess in bed that even the Queen of the fae wants to get a piece. This makes the King jealous and he sends his jester….super smoking faery guy Adam to go make the Hawk's life miserable. The king's plan is for Adam to find a woman that will turn the Hawk down at every turn. The one woman that will be able to say NO to him. Well since he is a magical being, Adam travels to the future and hears twit's proclamation against beautiful men and decides he's found the perfect match for the Hawk. So twit gets sent back in time and I'll skip all the "where am I, how'd I get here" drama and move along to more fascinating (NOT) stuff. So twit and hung get married by proxy (he sent his friend in his place for the actual ceremony) yet when they're in each other's presence she's all "stay away from me, oh wait but kiss me, oh wait I hate beautiful men get away". And he's all "you’re the one, come take a ride and I'll make you forget the men from your past" blah blah blah I honestly didn't care where this was going and I read what has to be the cheesiest line I've ever come across in a book. At some point during one of the love scenes twit proclaims "Take me to Valhalla"! Really? That actually got printed? All I can say is take me back to the moment before I decided to read this book. I have officially renamed it: Beyond the Ridiculous Twit!